It is now the 28th of April and Jenni, John and I have been in Hampi now for about a week. Here is a bit about the journey: After leaving Thailand we flew to Bangalore airport (India) and secured a taxi ride through the government run taxi stand. Now, I would have figured that getting a taxi through a government agency would have ensured a speedy, direct ride to our hostel. In fact, that is exactly what I figured, and I was oh-so very wrong! Either we had been given the most incompetent newbie driver in the whole fleet (possible), or our man was trying desperately to get a commission from a very expensive hotel (likely). Either way, or chauffeur acted like he had no idea where he was going even though the hotel we had booked was very close to the most busy train station in all of Bangalore and we had shown him on a map! Eventually he did get us to our destination, but only after taking us to the same wrong hotel twice, calling for directions twice, trying to get John to call for directions and stopping to ask other drivers (also twice, I think!). I guess the man loves symmetry.

So, around 2 am we arrive at the Royal Lodge Hotel, a place that at its conception was truly a grand place. Time had taken its toll however and it now proved to be a semi seedie budget lodge in an overwhelming part of town. It seemed safe however and as it was cheap, had a cleanish bed, a sometimes hot shower and 24 hour check in/out, we were happy with just being able to lay down. We already had our tickets bought to leave Bangalore that evening so all we wanted was a place to hide out and get some rest.

We spent the day doing just that, making one long foray to the train station to check on our tickets. Soon 10 pm rolled around and we found ourselves at the city station ready to leave for Hospet. Boarding the train proved uneventful and we were soon off, John chatting away with a nice man that had taken a seat next to me. All seemed to be going well, but before long I received a sharp kick from Jenni, one that was strategically aimed to secretly get my attention. However, being a guy, I stereotypically did not get the hint and replied with a loudish retort along the lines of "what! why are you kicking me!?!" Jenni angrily stared into my eyes with a look that could have rivaled the most annoyed 4th grade teacher and nodded downwards while mouthing "look at my hand!" I finally understood and looked down to see that her hand was in the shape of a pistol and she was nodding in the direction of the man sitting to my right. "Ahh" I casually thought, "I get it, the guy next to me has a gun." I resigned my self to not worry because if something was about to go down there was not much I was going to be able to do about it, and anyway, there had to be a better explanation for the blatant display of a gun than "train robber." Come to find out, the man and his "associate" were police officers and as they were both packing their heat in there waist bands, I can only suppose that holsters are not standard issue in India. He was nice though, he even invited us to dinner, which we are all pretty sure was actually a ploy to get John to marry one of his daughters!
Other than that, the train to Hospet was also uneventful and after getting off we quickly picked up a rickshaw to Hampi. It took a couple of days on the bazaar side of the river (basically in town) before we realised that where we wanted to be was on the other side, lovingly termed Hippie Island. We are now staying north of the river at a chill place called the Gopi and are spending our time bouldering, relaxing and exploring the ruins and boulder fields.
Hampi has turned out to be a very cool place, a place where the beauty of India can be seen with far less of what has been called "the dark side" of India. Here, the golden boulders intermingle with ancient temples and green rice paddies, all bathed in the same brilliant red-orange glow of a spectacularly setting sun. Here, pilgrams worship at the granite temples set amoungst the boulders from which they were hewn, while climbers from all over the world worship in their own way, on the boulders themselves. Here, you know that amidst the overwhelming crazy that can be India, you have found something special. Here, you have found something so very worth it, whatever "it" may be.

It seems as if the time has come for us to leave Thailand and head into a new adventure in India. Currently I sit in a hostel, killing time until we leave for Bangkok airport this evening. Form there we fly to Bangalore and the next day we board a 10 hour train to the town of Hospet. This small village is about 10 km from Hampi where we should be staying to chill and boulder for the next few weeks. I'm not sure about the internet access there so there may be a bit of bloggie-blackout for a while. If so, rest assured that we are adventuring it up and having lots of fun. Until next time, always remember. . .

Well boys and girls, Adventure Brad has been very, very busy lately. The past week has been nothing but one adventure after another. I has been a very exciting time in AB's life, and I am more excited to tell you about it than I am to talk about myself in the third person! I even have some photo documentation of some, but unfortunately (actually, fortunately) not all the adventure of which I speak.

Here is my legal disclaimer: Some of these adventures are not for the faint of heart. Some of the adventure descriptions contain semi-explicit language, and some of the adventure photos are a bit naughty. We will also be talking a bit about the male anatomy, which will include both technical and slang terms. Yee be warned! If you think this might be a bit much for you, proceed with caution! You partake in these adventures at your own risk and by proceeding you exempt me from any responsibility for offense taken, pompous attitude initiated or pace-maker failure! In a actuality, I could really care less about offending anyone, hell, this is my blog and you typed in the address, so what I am saying is, don't-a-come cryin' to me if you are shocked by what you see! I didn't force the computer screen to your beady little eyes! However, that last statement does not apply to my grandmothers. Grandmas', if you decide to continue on, well, I'm saying sorry in advance. In another vein, as an anthropologist, I feel I need to seek out, study and document other cultures, and I have done that on these adventures for sure!

So, have fun and here we go. . .!



Adventure #1: Splatter-Ass. (No photos available)

Thailand in general and Ton Sai specifically, has the special knack of giving almost everyone a pretty nice case of the liquid-shits, and AB is no exception. Here, hot-butt is lovingly called the "Ton Sai Tummy" and I have been battling a mild case for some time, which has been an adventure in itself. Now, you may ask why this is considered an adventure at all. Well, in truth, the TST is really synergistic to adventure, because being on an adventure with the green-apple-splatters makes the adventure in question that much spicier! For example, when deep water soloing off a longtail boat with seven other people, what are you going to do if you suddenly need an emergency anal ejection? Well, I think the answer is as obvious as it is unpleasant. After all, how hard is it to dogie paddle away from a liquid-cloud of poo?!? And how far away from the boat do you need to swim before it is acceptably polite to unload? Another consideration, what do you do if the urge hits on a dive, 18 meters down in a rented wet suit? If you slip, do you have to buy the poopie suit off the dive shop? How do you break it to your instructor that yes, in fact, you shot-gunned your neoprenes with the good stuff while both literally and figuratively under pressure? These are the questions and problems one must sometimes deal with while adventuring. Now, luckily, these examples are just examples, I really did not have to preform "The Liquid Stream Stroke" or "Wet Suit Reveal" but you can imagine how even the possibility makes adventuring that much more adventurous. In any case, you can't let these things keep you down, unless they are really keep you down, which does, has and will continue to happen to a few unlucky folks. Currently, after more than a week of cramping and uncertainty, I finally broke down and started a round of antibiotics, and for all those who were concerned, my movements are slowly returning to normal.


Adventure #2 - Cave Walk

This adventure is super tame, so I wont spend much time on it. This cave is a tourist atraction, but pretty cool (literally). John and I found that the flowstones pictured each rang in its own tone when lightly struck, so we stayed there for a while and had an ubernatural jam session. Ten points for anyone who can locate Jenni's ghoulishly disembodied head in the photo below!




Adventure # 3 The Lagoon and After

Warming up a bit! On a rest day the three of us decided to hike to a secluded lagoon that was supposed to be cool. The hike ended up taking the whole day and involved some pretty technical downclimbing with fixed ropes. Upon reaching the lagoon we found that although neat, it was not exactly pretty and definitely not what we had expected. So, I decided to adventure into the shallow water which I regretted when it turned into a shallow mud pit covering very sharp hidden rocks. This meant that I was unable to use my flip-flops as they immediately got stuck, nor could I effectively walk barefoot for fear of seriously cutting my feet (bad for climbing) and getting an infection from the disgusting pool I had gotten myself into (bad for keeping your feet). I took me long enough to dig myself out and get back to shore that John and Jenni left me! And after the ordeal, I completely forgot to take any pictures! Below is a photo of John and Jenni by this crazy-cool tree along the way to the lagoon and also a photo of Railay East from a nearby viewpoint.




Adventure # 4 - Penis Cave AKA The Cave of 1000 Cocks

Ok, so this is the anthropology I was talking about! This is one of the greatest cultural discoveries I have come across yet! I wont go into details because all you hace to do is click in the photo of the plaque and it will enlarge for you to read all about the origins of this cultural practice (as will all of the photos on this blog if you did not know already). I will say that this is one of the more blatant displays of misogynistic dominator culture that I have see to date. I mean come on, a penis with a crown of wangs! Thats one of the most awesomely sad things I have ever had the privilege to photograph! And to think, these men have built this shrine to a female goddess, and they really believe that this is the best way to venerate her; leaving carved penises as offerings! Because that is what all women, goddesses alike really want. . .right!?! You have to hand it to the general mentality of men across the planet. Come on boys, I think that we can do better than that! On a fantastic side note, I am glad that the Thai men have discovered the association between the teletubbie and the male form. For all those parents out there whose children are playing with those creepy toys, here is your reality check!





Adventure # 5: Deep Water Soloing

Deep water soloing is a must in these parts and we finally got around to booking our trip. If you like to climb and want a true rush, this is the way to go. I have done a lot of high, exposed rock climbing, some free-soloing and I have jumped off some stupid high cliffs, but none of it really prepares you for dws like you think it would. Something as low as 5 meters still seems super high and you always carry the idea of the high-dive-back-flop that could be just around the corner. It is also a funny experience to know that as you climb higher the height and potential danger of the fall increases, as does the jump you have to make if you continue on and don't fall. These facts can weaken the knees of even the most lion hearted girls and boys. For example, the picture of the roof climb is me on a 7a (5.11D). Although not super high, you can imagine the fall I would have taken if my hands would have blown and my heel stuck for just a second longer. BACKFLIP!!!!! In the end (of this route) I chickened out after not being able to pull exit moves and jumped from the hole where moments before I did the upside down no-hands rest. Man, what fun! The trip was also spiced up not only by the aforementioned bubble guts, but also the completely blown out climbing shoes that the guide shop nicely "provided" for us. Utter crap.

Below are some assorted pictures from our dws excursion; not all of them are John and I and some of them are not the greatest photos but we did the best we could given what we had (bad angles and a rocky boat). Again, you can click on any of the images to enlarge if your little heart desires a close up view. The first photo is John trying to look mean. He is really a softy.





John is on the middle left, on the big flowstone.



Adventure # 6: Dive Certification Course

After the DWS outing, Jenni, myself and Liz an old friend from New Zealand signed up and started our 4 day course to get our recreational open water dive certification. This course proved to be extremely rewarding in both what we learned and saw, and also the friendships we made along the way. In the three days following the 1st day, we had academic theory work and 2 dives a day. The last day, John and some new friends joined us on a dive trip to Koh Phi Phi which turned out to be some of the most fantastic diving ever! On our first dive the visibility was 25 meters and we saw a sea turtle, banded sea snake, great moray eels, cuddlefish and much more, and on the second dive we got to hang out with a big lepard shark. Our dive instructor Bruno said that it is some of the best diving he has ever done and that is saying a lot because he has logged over 300 dives! All-in-all it was an amazing experience and now with our certification we can recreationally dive around the world. Diving in Thailand was certainly a special experience I hope to remember forever. Unfortunatly we were not able to take many photos, but I have provided some I took along the way.


This is Bruno our instructor and his girlfriend Becks who is also an instructor and has logged over 800 dives around the world! They are both amazing people and I am really glad I was able to take the class with them as our teachers.

Our Dive group that went to Koh Phi Phi.


Now I say this with the utmost respect: I think Bruno is a vampire. Until our course, I have never met a Portuguese day-walking vampiric dive instructor, but I guess there is a first time for everything. What a character. And Bruno, if you are reading this, I mean that in the best way possible. Oh, and you still owe me a Mango shake.

OK, so lets recap what life is like right now. . .eat, climb, party (a little) and repeat. Pretty chill! Jenni, John and I have been on Ton Sai for almost two weeks now and everything is good now. It was good before except that Jenni can down with a voracious poisoning of the food/water sort and was laid up for almost five days. She is finally better now and enjoying life much more, so today we all booked a deep-water-soloing trip for the 5th which should be sweet. For all those who don't know, deep water soloing is when you climb on overhangs without saftey rope over water that is deep enough to safely fall into. In our case, we will be climbing on free standing rock outcrops in the sea. We are paying for a guided tour (a whole 20 dollars) which is best because the transport, shoes, chalk and food are included and the guides know all the good spots and the tide times that are the safest. It is going to be loads of fun! We also signed up to start a 4 day scuba open water certification course that begins on the night of the 5th. The course costs about 380 dollars and includes 6 dives over 3 days and food/water while we are out. When we are done we will be able to go out all over the world and dive with a buddy (if the shop allows you to go without a divemaster) which is awesome. It also means that we will be able to pay a lot less to go out for the day and do a few dives. We are all really excited because diving is something we all have wanted to get certified in (recreationally) but never got around to. Also, in Kansas you have to dive in a pool, but here, we get to be certified in the beautiful open water of the Andaman Sea. Well worth it me thinks! I will try and take pictures during the course; maybe even find an underwater camera, and will post them when I get a chance. So, stay tuned for more adventures, this time, underwater!